A Difficulty with Dwarves by Craig Shaw Gardner

By Craig Shaw Gardner

While a wizard is not able to treatment his illness of magicks, he sends his apprentice Wuntnor to hunt reduction within the far-off land of the japanese Kingdoms that are ripe with fiendish peril.

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Come forth, oh mighty waa . . waa . . WAAAA . . ’ His voice seemed to rise with every word. He stopped and swallowed, his dark brows furrowed in concentration. ’ he began again. ‘This will happen no . . ’ His sneeze tore his silver robes in half as the multitude of mages about him answered in kind. The entirety of the Great Hall trembled with their distress. The silver wizard was soon lost beneath the sneezing mass. Something must have gone horribly wrong. My master and I had traveled here, to far and fabled Vushta, the city of a thousand forbidden delights, in hopes of ending our quest - a quest that began when my master was forced into battle with the dread rhyming demon Guxx Unfufadoo!

Still, there was something familiar about the way the man carried himself, his long, white beard, and dark blue robes. The mage paused at the edge of the sneezing mass of sorcerers. ‘Indeed,’ he intoned. With that word, I knew. It was my master, the greatest wizard in all the Western Kingdoms, Ebenezum! ’ I called, delighted to see him so self-possessed in the midst of this chaos. ‘Did the wizards succeed? ’ The mage frowned at the mass of magicians before him. He pulled absently at his beard, then turned his gaze from the shuddering mass to look at me.

The wizards nearby held their noses and turned to watch their fellow. ’ The silver-clad wizard cried in a voice as deep as the farthest depths of the Inland Sea. ’ His hands wove a pattern through the air too fast for the eye to see. ” He paused. ‘Come forth, oh mighty waa . . waa . . WAAAA . . ’ His voice seemed to rise with every word. He stopped and swallowed, his dark brows furrowed in concentration. ’ he began again. ‘This will happen no . . ’ His sneeze tore his silver robes in half as the multitude of mages about him answered in kind.

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